Ten Seconds Cannot Be Twenty

"You never know what you have until it's gone."

That can be true. But sometimes you have the foresight to notice before it's hindsight. And I've spent time mulling over the philosophical challenge:

What do you do when you recognize the temporary, fragile beauty you are currently holding in your hands? Could you make your sparing moments of joy any longer or any more joyous if you had time to see it while you still control the situation?

The answer is simply...no.

I was approaching the paradox wrong.

The answer can be found in science:

If you have 10 seconds of eating a piece of chocolate, can you enjoy the chocolate for more than 10 seconds? Absolutely not. If t = 10 seconds, then in no way can t be > 10 seconds. 10 seconds is 10 seconds, and cannot be 20.

It sounds cold and cynical, but the answer is that you only have as much time as you do. Nostalgia, while not being intrinsically evil or detestable, is exhausting and pragmatically purposeless. Now is now, and it is nothing better or worse than it simply...is. 

If you have a particularly fond memory of growing up in suburban Virginia... Lovely. Cherish it. Reflect that it was fond. Thank your tireless, selfless parents. Hug them and make them some soup. Nothing else can be done, just as nothing else could have been done while you still lived in Virginia.

We live as we live, and then a time comes when we must live in a different manner. Don't "enjoy it while it lasts". Don't hang on to the good times. Don't even think about it, because by no worrying can you add even one second to your life.

There is a time for the current circumstances, and that time is now. Today is unique and altogether separate from any other moment in time.

There is a time for everything... A time to be born and a time to die... A time to weep and a time to laugh... A time to mourn and a time to dance. Eccles. 3:1-5 

Artificial Dreams

When we were younger, we loved real things...

...things we could touch, taste, feel, hold in our hands.

But as we’ve grown, we watched the life in our hands age and lose its youthful color.

We saw the grass began to show signs of drought, and it horrified us. The panic in our head shouted that the lawn would just keep dying unless we put down artificial turf.

Turf never dies, never loses its color… Turf is exactly what you expect of it. Turf can never grow; that didn’t bother us, though, because we found that turf is just so much easier to maintain.

We started surrounding ourselves with artificial until it permeated every aspect of our lives. We’ve been told that artificial will makes us happy, and now we want nothing else. 

We drive artificial cars, blasting artificial music that screams artificial lyrics. We only drink artificial chemicals that dazzle us with their artificial colors and artificial energy. We prefer artificial foods with artificial sugars to fill us with artificial life. We love our artificial girlfriend with her artificial waist, artificial blonde hair, artificial white teeth and artificial lips. We buy her artificial jewelry with our artificial money, and we hold hands in a display of artificial love and artificial security.

We strut around the artificial city with our artificial tans and tell ourselves

“Artificiality has brought us our dreams.”

…But it hasn’t.

Deep down we can feel: it didn’t bring us our dreams but changed what we dreamt of.

Whatever You Do, Care

Welcome, two thousand and thirteen.

Welcome to high school graduation I guess. The Mayans told you it would never happen, but you didn’t let that stop you. Welcome to the dawning of honest life. Today it’s out of the nest and, huh, time to see if you learned how to fly.

Because when I say today is the dawn of honest life I mean this – frankly – is the end of your parents’ life for you. It is the beginning of your own life. You call the shots now. You benefit from good decisions and you pay the price for bad ones.

In the world you are about to meet, there won’t be any retakes, there won’t be any free tanks of gas, and there won’t be any job promotions awarded for “sufficient effort”. Starting today, you determine the life you wanna live, for better or worse. You are now responsible for you.

I think high school, done the Crimson way, is wonderful. Lasting memories are made and people of character are built here. So take what you’ve learned about who you are and who you hope to be, grab a couple pairs of socks and a toothbrush, and let’s go. Yeah I’m gonna miss you guys and I’ll miss Maple Grove, but everybody knows we can’t stay here any longer. Our dreams, just like our appetites, are outgrowing our parents’ houses.

Look, if you’re already starting to ignore me, here’s what I need you to remember. I challenge you…no, no I beg you:

Wherever you go and whatever you do, CARE.

This world doesn’t need more engineers and doctors and writers and businesspeople if you don’t intend to be young men and women who truly care about something.

Yes, I would encourage you to work hard no matter what you study or where you work. But living a meaningful life and contributing to this world requires that you believe in what you’re doing and truly want to see the job done right. THAT’S what this world needs. In a country with fifty-seven killed in public shootings and almost nine hundred thousand divorces in just one year, we need people who care about something and commit to that passion.

Smart people don’t make the world a better place; it’s driven people that do. 

Your smiling teachers and school faculty are here today because they have found something that drives them, and you are living proof of their dedication, dedication to helping kids grow up into real adults.

I know you have the potential to be great. I’ve met you kids. I legitimately and honestly believe you young men and women have the power to dramatically change your world. I beg you to use that power. Leaders don’t change the world sitting on the couch watching The Bachelor. Go out in the world, find something you can be proud of and go hard; invest in making those ideas become a reality.

Don’t study so you can graduate so you can get a job so you can make money so you can retire and do nothing remarkable. If you’re not passionate about something, and you’re not in it for something besides the money or the GPA or the Lexus, it’s not worth your time. I see great things in you and I wouldn’t be able to stand seeing you live life chasing things that don’t matter to you.

Because I like you guys; I like you guys a lot. I want to see you do big things. I know you can, because I've seen it happen. And I’m proud of you. Really.

I’ll miss you guys.

Good luck out there.

Hate We Can All Agree On

Self-help books teach you that if you find common interests with someone else, it's easier to hold a conversation with them.

I have discovered that the ties of common hatred are much stronger.

Stick to hated topics like these if you want to relate to as many people as possible:

1. Traffic
An everyday test of patience. Even drivers with a short commute will know to hate stoplights.

2. Government
Congress. Taxes. Renewing your driver's license. Don't mess with politics. Stick to the standard tiny inconveniences that everyone mutters under their breath about.

3. Weather
If you're outside, this can be a killer. Dang it's cold, dang it's hot, dang it's windy, dang it's cloudy, dang this snow is terrible. Almost every situation can be twisted into a common hatred.

4. Bad WiFi
Super effective if they're pretending to ignore you by looking at their phone.

5. Waiting in line
.................. Okay...... Ain't nobody got time for this I'm gone.

6. Vegetables
Cauliflower. I mean, really.

7. Work scheduling
Even if they happen to like work, no one likes waking up to an alarm for work. No one.

8. Gas prices
Easy win. In the occasion that they bike to prevent gas emission, quickly flip to how aggravating it is sharing the road with craaaazy drivers in fancy Escalades.

9. Public bathroom conditions
Guys will know what you're talking about. Women may play along but with less conviction because they have less experience dealing with a toilet handle covered in feces.

10. Crocs
First pretend to be checking your phone and glance down at their feet to confirm they are indeed wearing shoes other than Crocs.

11. Parking spots
If you're lucky enough to be talking to an SUV driver, extenuate this subject and toss in some remarks about "$3.79 a gallon I mean are you kidding me".

12. Nicholas Cage
Can't lose with this ace card.

13. Dentist appointments
Always a safe call. ALMOST everyone has teeth. How can you not relate. Doctors appointments can be substituted, but you'll want to avoid specifics with that area of discussion.

14. Refried beans
This can be a tough call because I've heard some people actually eat them by choice. You don't want to be in the middle of pantomiming scooping a spoonful of bland brown mush and throwing it at the wall when you realize you've found one of the world's few refried bean supporters.

It's a bit of a gambling game. If you play your cards before making sure you aren't about to be very offensive, you could actually make fewer friends and butcher this whole technique. It's a fine line.

The Senior Life

It's sad to say, but there are few real benefits to being a senior. We were told we should look forward to it but I don't think it's much different than any other year.

Save one difference.

The excuse of being a senior is apparently a valid one. The world accepts "it's my senior year" as a legitimate excuse. It entitles you to a place at the front of the line and a few extra days off and a main lot parking permit for no reason at all except "but it's your senior year".

And I hear kids around me buying into that logic. People worry about getting their yearbook and going to the all-night party because they CAN'T miss things like that, it's their senior yeeeeear. Or he deserves that solo because it's his senior yeeear.

I haven't tested its limitations yet, but I think the excuse can be used to pardon a wide variety of reckless behaviors.

I don't think it will get you out of getting a minor, but things like racing grocery carts down the street or flying to California with your friends become quite acceptable or even normal if it's your senior year.

Aw I remember being a senior in high school. Huh good days..... Okay you kids do whatever you want.
-Old people

Zeros: A World Application

"When people whine about having to do more work than someone else, I'm like...really? You aspire to be the least contributing in the group?" -Statistics teacher

We in America live in a world of Zeros. We live in a society that continues to support and encourage non-contributor, non-driven, simply...LAME people: Zeros.

The United States is designed to give every man an equal opportunity for life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. But somewhere in the centuries, happiness came to be synonymous with convenience. The American Dream today is to cheat natural selection: to do nothing and survive anyway.

It's frustrating to fight a Zero's logic. It's stifling to try to reason a Zero into caring and it's exhausting to try to force a Zero to care. They don't want to actually do the physics problem set and they don't want to pay the parking permit fee and they don't want to wait in line, they just want to watch The Bachelor and receive the success they're entitled to.

And sadly, they are allowed this behavior because of people like me who care more about the job being done than we care about who does the job.


But this is only the conspicuous Zero.

The worse kind of Zero is the more common one: the theoretical Zero. These Zeros try to remove manifest Zeros but use the same lazy mindset. The theoretical Zero has these socialist ideas that say everyone should put in the same amount of effort for the world to be fair.

That's a load of bull, theoretical Zeros.

The way natural selection works, the least hard-working individuals can't sustain themselves and they either change their behavior or die. Not "the lazier people learn to work harder and everyone is equal and happy".

If someone's working less than you are, consider yourself on the right path to success. Don't get on a soapbox about inequality.

And if you can no longer find someone working less than you, you are the bottom of the group. You are the Zero. You need to step it up.

Or you could join the Zeros. You'll have plenty of company.

Making My Life Count

“Make Your Life Count.”
The shirt I received from Gustavus Adolphus has only this mantra in gold letters and a G with the crowns of Sweden.

I may not be going to Gustavus. That doesn't matter.
I have always strove to live by this same principle: making my life count.

I instinctively push myself to do more, go farther, and follow through in everything I do, including academics.  I am not satisfied until I know that I’ve done everything I can do, been all I can be, and learned all I can learn.

With these high expectations, I quickly found that regular curriculum and tolerably motivated students could not be enough.  I’m not a 4.0 student and I don't pretend to know everything, but I’m driven not by a desire for perfection and success; rather, I am fueled by the tangible hunger for greater understanding.

Wherever I end up, I hope to find an atmosphere of young adults who aren’t driven by GPAs.  I hope not to hear the question “How many points will this be worth?” and I hope to never see the student next to me taking a Snap Chat of their shoe during class. I wanna punch 'em.

I expect to find a community of committed, intellectual beings that don’t obsess about grades and NHS hours but respect the privilege of education and wish to better their own understanding of the world around them.

I’d like to meet normal people who simply recognize their designed cognitive potential, fearfully and wonderfully made as they are, and know they have a long way to go.
And I hope to join them as I dedicate all of me to becoming the most contributing, understanding community member I can be.

I WILL be doing this. No matter where I go and no matter what I do.


I just hope I can find a place where it doesn't make me feel so lonely.